please can someone help with the setup on my malossi air atomiser in the carb is giving me 7650 molecules per ccm with an average running temp in the crank of around75 degrees.if the squish is less than 1.5mm and final exaust cone 20mm giving running pressure of 92psi does this mean i can use pirelli tyres or should i try something dear that looks better.also is there much speed gain by not fitting the dust caps on the inner tube valve.desperate for any help or advice as i need to ride it to the shop on thursday to buy some milk

Hey doc, oim don be noin ow youms do it up country boy, but ere in deepez DARZET we`m gets milk fum a COW…wat koind a beast be a SHOP un wer be her udderz?

Think youve all come down with a serious case of tuningitus - Swift blow to the head with a hammer should do the trick .
Or 2 pints of semi-skimmed !!!

From a mate that told me about his mums puch maxi, Broadtaff do complete parcel of bits that fit all types of two-wheelers for a bargain price of two grand, but theres no dustcaps. Ergo, milk should only be purchased when your crank temp drops below exhaust degree figures. From what he said, usage of a certain type of slug in a jar device could help with the piston stroking. SO I SUPPOSE, MAYBE IS THE ANSWER YOU DONT WANT

Yes young man, I can guarantee you an accelleration curve that is equal to the force of gravity. Just meet me at Beachy head with a suitcase full of money in used, unmarked £50 notes. Oh and make your will in order. I will strap an anvil to you and your vehicle and launch you over the edge. You will never get an accelleration rush like it again, cos you will be dead, but man what a ride! NOTE extreme tuning is not for road use and can seriously affect your prospects for long life. PS coffins can be supplied for an small extra fee, or you can bring your own carrier bag.

But seriously, I was at Sandford Rally last month and I overheard a couple of blokes ragging about the speed of their scooters, as you do, but these dudes were saying things like " cant get over 75..........put this, that & the other tuning goodies on it and still wont go no quicker…"etc. The fact was, of the two of them one was about 18stone and the other was about 24stone. Me being all sweetness and tact, as I am you know…yeah right, turned to them and said „you want to make your scooters faster, lay off the pies you fat bastards, I know in some countries scooters are used as family transport, but a whole Malaysian family of 7 people would weigh less than you each, so give the poor thing a chance.“ Don`t I know how to win friends and influence people eh?

Tyre schematics as follows :-

Zippy 1 - Dust caps on = short run to the shops for a pint of sterry.

Dexters - caps off = long distance touring capability (recommend U.H.T milk )

Pirreli SL26 - dust caps optional = regular commuting with bread and condensed milk (but wouldn’t recommend thursdays for shop visitation )

IRC MBR77’s - fuck the dustcaps and the milk off and just go down the shopping arcade to pop some phat wheelies.


Mike (p2 no probs n smallframe has got me demented)